Say Something I'm giving up on You
by stayingstrong 2007- 2013
Summary: That's when it happened he pushed me into the wall , closing the door and kissed the hell out of me Trying to not hurt me , I was kissing back and I wanted to scream at him , but all I needed was his arms around me while I cried and that's what he did. He says nothing .. " I'm leaving "


_" Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame "_

* * *

_" No one likes you " _

_" why don't you kill yourself " _

_" who would love you " _

_" your useless " _

those words that they say, all I can do is crawl and hide

_" you're a nerd , no one likes you " _

i just stare at myself in the mirror and see my bruises and my eyes .. Oh so tired and broken , ready to run and give up . hurting myself so many times , I've been abandoned by my friends , Austin with populars , Dez and Trish were there until I pushed them away out of my life , I can't blame it on no one it was my fault .

So this where I have to stand .

* * *

_" But who could love me _

_I am out of my mind "_

* * *

I walk in the hallways in the school getting ready for the hurtful words and pushing ... I walk as everyone looks at me , in the corner I see Trish and Dez I turn to meet their eyes , they show me a sad frown and all I do I walk away . I land in music class my love for music is my passion , i sit in my seat and look at the people coming in , I see him , Austin laughing and smiling with the populars .

" I miss my happiness " , I whisper under my breath for myself to hear

I miss laughing , smiling with my friends , but I guess I like lost everything and everyone , I even lost myself ... I can't find the Girl with quirky jokes and laughing at nothing , but stupid jokes , the girl with sparkly eyes that light up when she smiles ... Where is she ?

I can't find her .

_ She hurt her skin_

_Just like everyone _

_Did to her heart _

_- j.h _

I watch as everyone sits in their seats , we start the lesson and I see Austin across from me texting of course , I see people passing something like a note and then I passes to me ,

_Don't open it!_

_Open it! _

I open it and big mistake

_Hey Dawson why don't you disappear ... Nobody likes you , not even Austin he forgot about you , he doesn't care anymore! _

Tears prick in my eyes and my chest starts to feel heavy , they are right about everything and Austin doesn't care , but I still love him ... _Get it through your head Ally , he doesn't like you anymore !_

, my mind tells me and I raise my hand to be excused to the bathroom , everyone looking at me ... I get up and walk out the room and go to my locker , but when I get there my locker is all filled with mean words , tears prick in my eyes again and I open my locker notes falling out of my locker one by one , I read one and it sure enough breaks me down on the floor and I sob quietly ... Hoping ..

* * *

_" I want to run away from all this shit ". _

* * *

I get myself up and head to the bathroom washing my eyes from the tears ... I look at myself

And I walk out the bathroom , but suddenly I hear a voice .. His voice ..

" running away again " , I hear it clear and I turn around , it hurts to look at him

" what am I supposed to do Austin ? " , I ask him quietly

He walks closer to me and I step back

" Ally we can help you " , he says .. Huh ? Like he cares , like he gives a fuck !

" You left Austin ! You don't care anymore ! I needed you Austin and what did you do ! " , I scream at him in the halls , he doesn't say anything

" what did you do Austin ! " , I scream at him and he whispers _" I left " _

" I can't hear you Austin ! " , I scream at him again

" I left " , he says and I laugh and he looks at me

" you fucking left " , I say one last time and walk out the school doors leaving him .

* * *

_I still love you ... I'm afraid to fall ... _

_I need your arms around me _

_I still dream of you _

_I need you _

_- A.K _

* * *

I get flashbacks since that day , I also get flashbacks of me and him making love ... Yeah me and him did it ... we used protection . how he whispered to me

_flashback _

**_" Austin .. " , I moan and wrap my arms around him , he kisses my lips passionately _**

**_" Ally you're so beautiful " , he whispers to me , I kiss him and I look in his eyes , he kisses my cheek _**

**_I love you that's what I wanted to say , but I didn't .. I was afraid _**

_End of flashback _

I miss him ... I need him ... I just cry and sob ...

I fall into a sleep dreaming about him ...

* * *

_" Fear is born " _

_one ... Heartbeat ... Two .. Shaky breaths ... Three ... Breathe quietly . _I wrap my arms around myself feeling cold and I start coughing , I just want to fall in a dreamless sleep again ... I pick up my phone , and look at the message ... There ... Weren't any , they don't care .

" breathe Ally " , I whisper to myself and take a shaky breath slowly and try calming myself down before I just go and break again .

My arms run blood down slowly as I'm breathing slowly ... I looked at the knife on the ground , its bloody .. Look what I've done to myself .. my shaky hands pick up the knife , I look at the knife and then I throw it at the wall with anger

_I was the book you opened _

_But never finished _

_Filled with words _

_That would have been better _

_Left unsaid_

_But were spoken anyway _

_And too many pages _

_Left unwritten _

_- wtm_

I was everything for him ..I guess , and he was everything for me ... All those words left spoken and some unspoken , it would've been better , left unsaid , but they were said and screamed at , too many memories , too many pages left ... Too quiet and silent .

* * *

_she watched them leave her life _

_One by one : abandoning her_

_And then one day _

_She decided _

_That of nobody needed her _

_She did not need anybody else either ._

_- ampd_

Another day at hell school ! She watched her old friends laugh .. Talk .. Smile ... Goof off ... And her

Well all she did was walk away , slipping tears down her cheeks , while wiping them off .

Flashback :

**_I stand there frozen and unable to say or move , I stare at the three people by me _**

**_" is it true " , I ask them quietly _**

**_" Ally we just ... Were not team Austin , we don't feel like the same anymore , I'm sorry " , Trish said while tears were slipping down her cheeks _**

**_I look at them and feel my chest start to break _**

**_" ... I understand " , I tell her and I look at Austin _**

**_" Austin ... you haven't said a word " , I asked him , what's going on ? _**

**_He says nothing .. _**

**_" I'm leaving " , he said and I was confused _**

**_" what do you mean ? " , I asked him _**

**_" Trish is right Ally , we all changed except you , were not te same anymore , and our relationship is hanging by a thread and , I think it's the best if we all move on from each other " , he said and that's_**

**_When my heart started breaking and I knew it would come , but I never imagined it like this .._**

**_Then they left , I was watching them walk out of my life forever , abandoning me and all I do is stand there with tears falling ._**

Flashback over

* * *

They walked out just like that , I knew we weren't the same anymore , but I was changing , they just didn't notice the_ lonely broken girl , screaming in silence , not even saying a word , they didn't notice the anger of my madness , they didn't notice those ugly scars on my wrists , they didn't notice the sad smile , they didn't notice my pain in my heart , they didn't notice the bruises on my body ._

_They didn't notice ME ! Just fake a god damn smile all the time .. They didn't notice the Ally Dawson changed ._

_" she took a bullet and blew out her brains_

_She didn't say goodbye , she Just went away " _

Sometimes I think I might be better if I took a bullet and pulled the trigger at my head and I wouldn't even say goodbye , they don't care anymore .. They never did

* * *

_" I want to scream at you , but _

_All I need now _

_Is your arms " _

_- A.K_

_It's the last period of school and I'm outside of school , free day ... I saw him again and well we locked eyes , there's still feelings in there .. _

_Its late at night and I'm alone ... I heard a knock at the door and my fragile body got up to open the door and there stood Austin Moon , " what is up with this boy " _

_That's when it happened he pushed me into the wall , closing the door and kissed the hell out of me _

_Trying to not hurt me , I was kissing back and I wanted to scream at him , but all I needed was his arms around me while I cried and that's what he did , but then _

_" Austin ... I don't think I can forgive you " , I tell him while looking down _

_I hear him sigh _

_" Ally I'll do anything to get you to forgive me " , he says while lifting up my chin_

_And that's when I got scared _

_" I promise " , he said _

* * *

_" I'm afraid of loving you again "_

_I wake up in someone's warm arms , I look .. Its Austin and I smile a bit , but then I try to get out of his grip , but he soon wakes up and smiles at me . _

_We look at each other ... It's silent .. no sound , but only heart beats beating ... _

_He puts a hand on cheek comfortably and I close my eyes to enjoy this moment before it ends ._

_I whisper to him in my broken scared voice _

_" I'm afraid Austin ... " he looks at me _

_" I'm afraid of loving you again " _

_No sound to be heard , even the heart beats stayed silence _

* * *

_" I fall to fast , crash to hard , forgive to easy , and care too much " _

_The problem is for me , is too much _

_I can't love him like I use to ? Or can I .. My heart is still breaking , but still breathing . I walk upstairs to get Austin , as soon I do that , I see Austin looking at me and I stand there looking at him , I feel so hurt and that's when I walk downstairs not even looking back to see his expression . _

_" can you hear the silence _

_Can you see the dark " _

_I slid down the wall putting my head in my hands , crying . I locked the door , so Austin can't get in _

_There's no sound in this dark room just my heavy breathing and heart just ready to break out of my chest ! _

_Oh so silence _

_Take me in the dark . _

_" Good night you said _

_I said Goodbye " _

I got out and saw Austin sitting there waiting for me and I sit down on a chair , he breaks the silence

" What were you doing in there ?" , he asks looking at me with a glare

" none of your damn business ! " , I tell him with a glare

" Ally .. " , he starts to say , but I cut him off

" don't Ally me , OK I was fine when you weren't by my side and you were fine too Austin , just go ! Go away Austin , you don't want to ruin your reputation , just leave me to myself ! " , I scream at him

" Why are you being so stubborn , I am trying to help you Ally ! " , he screams at me

We start fighting again ...

" I didn't ask for your help Austin , I don't need you OK , just leave ! " , I scream at him and my throat starts to hurt and tears running down my cheeks

" why can't you love me " , he says in a whisper for me to hear and more tears come down my cheeks

I come close to him and put my hand on his cheek and I look him in the eyes

" I'm so sorry Austin , I do love you , but I'm afraid to love you again ... " , I tell him and that's when I kiss him passionately , he kisses back and wraps his arms around me slowly not trying to break me and I wrap my arms around his neck .

I pull away from his lips and our eyes lock , I'm thinking ...

I already fell .

* * *

_My body has bruises _

_From the words you told me _

_- a.b. _

I came out of the shower , I looked at myself in the mirror , I looked at the bruises on my collarbone , then some bruises on neck , bruises on my arms , I looked at myself over and over , I took a towel and wrapped myself in it .

* * *

I decided to go to school today , I went to the girl's bathroom and when I came in there I saw Cassidy , Kira , and Brooke glaring at me

" looks like Dawson came back " , Cassidy said while smirking

" you should've killed yourself " , Brooke said while laughing and all I could do was just stand there while tears were slipping and Kira walked closer to me

" sweetie , look at you .. Austin doesn't like you ! Get it through you head ! Thinking coming back to school and putting on makeup would impress him , well it doesn't , he's done with you . " , she said while walking away , but stopped and turned to say one last thing .

" Your dead to him " , and with that she left with her friends . The bell rang and I decided not to go to class , no one cares , she was right Austin doesn't love her ...

" I'm dead to him " , I whispered to myself .

* * *

_" say something I'm giving up on you** "**_

I was walking outside in the cold November , it's been 7 years I got cleaned . I went to treatment , it felt to let all my feelings out , holding my coffee in my hand as I take a sip .

That's when we meet each other again , eye contact his hazel brown eyes meet my brown eyes

And there's silence between us and one tear falls down my cheek

" are you gonna say something " , I asked him while my voice broke

He just looks away from my eyes

" you never cared Au-...Austin .. " , I say in a whisper

I grab his cold hand into mine

" Austin...please..say something " , I ask him again this time I hear my heart cracking and the love for him I have is about to run away

" I'm sorry Als.. " , I hear him say while he looks at me and his eyes full of tears ready to slip away

I look at him and I notice his hand slipping away , I feel cold and heart-broken

" Austin ... "

" I'm sorry " , he says to me as a tear slips down his cheek and he walks away ...

_" I'm giving up on you "_

* * *

Hey guys it's a one shot ! I hope you like it and please review :-)

Thanks :-)


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